Obsessed!

Lately I’ve been obsessed with a lot of stuff. This is not surprising, I’m sure. But seriously – I have a lot of super cheesy  stuff I am crazy into right now. Here are a few of the best:

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The Jersey Shore

If you’re not watching this show, I pretty much have nothing to say to you. I mean, come on! It’s UNBELIEVABLE. Like, crazy trashy but also pretty funny. And kind of anthropologically intriguing. Best quote: “I feel this job is beneath me. I’m a bartender. I do great things.”

Also, some chick gets punched in the face. MTV probably wisely pulled the part out of the episode…but seemed to forget they had already played it in like a thousand previews. The punch is pretty hard to find now, but here’s some of the event:

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Genius on I-Tunes

Pretty random, right? But Genius is so awesome. If you haven’t discovered this, go check out your I-Tunes immediately. Not only does it create crazy good playlists of stuff you already have (and if you’re like me, you have so much music you kind of forget to even listen to it all), but it also gives you suggestions on stuff you might like! This is how I found out about Owl City. A band that sounds like happy robots. Robots!

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Shannon McKenna Books

I was in the library the other day, just checking out the stacks, when I came across McKenna. Oh, another romance-thriller, I thought to myself. I’m kind of in the mood for an alpha male saving a faux-strong lady (honestly though, when am I not in that mood?), maybe I’ll give it a shot. But oooohhh man. Holy Christ. It was the hottest book I’ve ever read. Not the best, or the funniest, or the most well-written, but the straight up dirtiest, most erotic stuff I have ever seen in mainstream fiction. Let’s just say there’s free use of the word “juicy.” And no euphemisms. Not a one. Naturally I ran out and bought every thing she’s ever written.

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Community

This is the funniest new show on TV. “Glee” is great, so is “Modern Family,” but “Community” wins, hands down. During their Christmas episode they got into a huge fist fight with Anthony Michael Hall! Their school team is “The Human Beings”! Chevy Chase is an aging womanizing a-hole! Plus, I’ve discovered how secretly hot Joel McHale is. Watch this clip from the Halloween episode:

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Robert and Kristen Interviews

Alright, maybe I’m getting a little loose with the term “recent obsessions,” but OMG these two are so cute together I cannot stand it. Watch them in this interview and then just try to tell me they’re not a couple. I dare you.

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And….I’m dead.

Holy Crap!

Um..so I just found out that Brittany Murphy died! At 32! Of a heart attack apparently. Or as my roommate said, perhaps it was “le coca.” But let’s not speculate. She was super lovely, and I never really hated her in any movie (high praise indeed). This is truly a big tragedy and I hope she rests in peace. Here’s a little Clueless picture tribute, as it is maybe the best movie ever made, and Brittany was so good as the awkward, and yet still somehow sexually promiscuous Tai.

Just guess what she’s describing.

I have like 50 girl friends who can quote this entire movie. Start to finish. Word for word. Not me of course. But like, some other girls I know.

“You’re a virgin. Who can’t drive.” BEST MOVIE EVER.

And she’s done some other pretty amazing stuff too. I’m not talking about critically acclaimed Girl, Interrupted (blah, blah, blah). If you haven’t yet seen the straight-to-video movie Love & Other Disasters, go rent it immediately!!! It’s actually charming and cute – all about this tiny British girl who falls in love with a hot guy. But the best part is Brittany’s British accent, which is SO BAD that the movie actually has a disclaimer in the beginning, about how the character lived in America as a child and then moved to London so that’s why her accent is strange. I’m not even kidding. Check it out for yourself:

So good! Anyway, this is super sad news. 32 is just too young to go. We’ll always have Clueless, Britt.

Update

I have finally, finally updated “Important POP! Countdowns.” Yeah, it’s taken me…forever. But whatever, it’s totally new and fun and exciting, so go check it out! Just some stuff I’m looking forward to in the next year. I’m also open to any suggestions, so if there’s something you think I’d love coming out at any point in the near or distant future, let me know!

Important POP! Countdowns

Real Vampires Suck

Hey guys! Asher has updated SPLAT! and I wanted to give everyone a heads up to go check it out! It’s about how vampires should be more scary than kissy.*

Real Vampires Suck!

Now here’s a picture of Robert Pattinson being hot just so none of us forget why we’re really here.

* POP! does not support this stance.

Oh New Moon.

So I finally saw New Moon (ugh, I don’t even want to talk about how late it was. I got crazy sick and couldn’t go for like 2 weeks). I have SO MANY thoughts. And most of them are not that good, which makes me pretty sad as I had such high hopes. But seriously, all of the charm in the original movie was totally leaked out of this. There were a few high points (the Volturi! Dakota Fanning was awesome as evil Jane), but overall? Meh. Here are my general thoughts:

Thought #1: Kristen Stewart and RPattz are totally banging.

In the first movie these two were burning up the screen with their crazy hot chemistry. So much longing, so many sultry glances. The scene where they make out on the bed? OMG hot. But in New Moon the chemistry was only okay. It was kind of hot when they kissed, but also really comfortable…as if they did it allll the time. Their chemistry was just off enough to be pretty suspicious. As far as I’m concerned these two might as well be married. (Just for the record, I am not complaining about this.)

Thought #2: Chris Weitz is kind of a crap director.

Enough with the spinning all ready! I got so dizzy watching this movie. When in doubt, Chris starts moving around all the characters in circles. Fine. But overall this movie was just a little too pretty, a little too sleek, a little too spinny, and every scene was just a little too long. Sure, parts of it were beautifully done (the whole chase scene with Victoria was lovely), but overall it lost the gritty look of the first movie – and hence the realness factor. And for the love of god, learn when to edit. There were so many staring into faces scenes even I got bored after a little while. Say something or look away.

Thought #3: Taylor Lautner should have been replaced.

Good for him, getting all buff and everything. But chiseled abs do not a good actor make. This boy cannot act. Period. Whenever he had a big emotional scene I felt like I was watching a cheesy teen movie spoof. Since this is already pretty cheesy this was not a good thing.

Thought #4: All the teen fun was sucked out of it.

Who knows who’s to blame for this. The director, the writer, the Gods, whatever. The point is that Catherine Hardwicke made Twilight great by focusing on the teen side of it – the cliques, the fun, realistic characters, the raw, awkward feelings that Bella has. Even Edward shows a teen side – embarrassed by his family, not sure if Bella will love him. It makes everything feel more real, it gives the characters more weight, and it helps us transcend the book and enter into a fully developed world and community. New Moon lost this feel almost entirely. There was barely any interaction between Bella and her peers; school almost never came up, her classmates were relegated to the background for the most part. Even Forks felt less developed as a place and community. Instead of a subtle, teen romance, this felt more like a big, action, fantasy movie. And because of that it lost all of its homey charm.

Thought #5: NOTHING HAPPENED

This is pretty much as exciting as it gets.

It’s not like I didn’t know this going in – I read the crappy book. Meyer is not known for her “plotting” skills. But jesus. Nothing happened. Not much happened in Twilight either, but somehow Hardwick still managed to build the suspense. This was just…boring. Which is way worse than being cheesy.

Verdict? I’d rather watch Face Punch - the movie within the movie Bella and Jacob went to. New Moon was way too much like the book…and I’m not sure I can think of a worse insult than that.

Hipster Time

I wrote another column for Verbicide! GO READ IT. I give a whole tutorial on how to become a hipster. It’s all sort of funny because I really don’t know what I’m talking about.

So You Say You Want to be a Hipster

New Obsession…umm, yep, still vampires.

Ok, guys I cannot even stress how good The Vampire Diaries is. It is totally my new fav TV show. And I really, really needed a new TV show (umm, have you seen One Tree Hill lately? It’s not even bad-good anymore. It’s just boring.). I’ve watched this clip maybe a hundred times:

GAH! It is too hot to handle. Sexy, sexy, sexy.

Ohh the Horror!

Hello all POP! readers!

I started this blog a few months ago and have been having a blast writing about all the cheesy pop culture I love. But I do realize that not everyone is as obsessed with RPattz as I am (even writing that sentence makes me cringe inside). Having said that, POP! is expanding. My good friend Asher has agreed to write a new segment on POP! called SPLAT! devoted to all things horrific and scary. Instead of kisses and teen drama, expect lots of blood and icky stuff.

Asher is super snarky and funny. He’s also a horror writer, so he def knows what he’s talking about. He’s even written, directed, and produced a full length feature horror film called The Brave…starring yours truly. It is pretty horrific (and not just the movie. I should never be allowed to act in anything).

So if gore is your thing, check out SPLAT! You can link to it at the top right of the main page, and here’s a direct link to the first post, which is Thanksgiving themed, but somehow still manages to be disturbing.

Some people might think that you need things like “lots of readers” before you start expanding. Posh! Go check out SPLAT! It truly is the darker side of POP!

No One Wants the Clapp

The other day I was googling stuff, when I came across an interesting fact: Natalie Portman’s given name is actually Natalie Hershlag. I had no idea she changed her name, and especially that she changed it to something more American-sounding. This kind of fascinates me: what’s the motivation behind a celebrity changing their name? Sometimes it’s to sound less ethnic, sometimes it’s just to sound more interesting. But it turns out that more celebs have changed their names then you’d think (and it’s not just the obvious ones, like Pink).

Let’s start with Natalie Portman

Portman, as you now know, is actually named Natalie Hershlag. Apparently Portman is her grandmother’s maiden name, and she took it in order to maintain privacy. I’m…skeptical. Natalie Portman sounds more “American” – whatever that means. Either way, Natalie has a pretty interesting heritage: she was born in Jerusalem, her great grandparents died in Auschwitz, and one of her great grandmothers was a spy for the British in WWII. And at least her new name is still in the family. Unlike…

Meg Ryan…

whose real name is actually Margaret Mary Emily Ann Hyra. Which is quite a mouthful. I don’t blame her for this change, but why pick Ryan over Hyra? Ryan is a stupid boy name, but Hyra sounds all greek goddess-y.

Now Demi Moore

is actually Demetria Gene Guynes. But her name change is actually pretty legit. Demi is a nickname, and Moore is her first husband’s name (Fred Moore). Technically, she uses Demi Moore professionally, and actually goes by Demi Guynes Kutcher. So she took her 16 year old husband’s name (but honestly, who can blame the girl?).

The lovely Helen Mirren?

Born Ilynea Lydia Mironoff. Or Ilyena Vasilievna Mironov. There’s some Internet confusion about her actual name. But it’s definitely not Helen Mirren. At first I thought, she is totally getting rid of her ethnicity! But further research (umm…Wikipedia) shows that it was her father’s decision to change their family name to Mirren after settling in England. Still, “Helen” is a bit more British than “Ilyena.”

Speaking of ethnic name changes…meet Jennifer Tilly.

Real name? Jennifer E. Chan. I had no idea she was Chinese American! But Tilly is her mom’s maiden name, so she’s still keeping it in the family.

Alright, duh. LL Cool J is not his real name. It’s actually…

James Todd Smith!! I’m so charmed by this, just because of how boring and normal it is.

Now let’s meet some musicians. First up? Eric Clapton.

His real name is Eric Patrick Clapp. I don’t blame him for that change. No one wants the Clapp.

Ok, John Denver kind of shocked me.

He just seems like such a genuine guy. But his real name is Henry John Deutschendort Jr. Not exactly all-American. I guess he needed a super country, farm-boy name. And John Denver almost sounds like a tractor company. Which is probably what his handlers were going for.

These last two just kind of blow my mind. Take Sigourney Weaver.

If your name is Susan Alexandra Weaver, why would you willing take the name Sigourney? Ridic. I guess she picked it when she was 14, after a character in The Great Gatsby. Ok, fine. At least it’s literary. But should any 14 year old girl be allowed to name themselves? My name would probably have been Ivy Lovelorn from 12-17 if  my mom had been less strict.

And the winner: Skeet Ulrich.

Seriously? Why? His actual name is Bryan Ray Trout. I mean look, it’s not like having a last name like “Trout” is really winning the name lottery, but still. Skeet? I guess it’s a nickname given to him by his little league coach (“Skeeter”), based on his small size. Which is kind of cute, but also totally ridiculous. That name is never going to land you Hamlet on Broadway.

Maybe I’ll start a new game where I try and come up with my own celebrity name. How about Hope Wildheart? Or Daisy Button. Or Fai Swanton. Or Bella Lacramore! Umm, this is actually super fun.

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Guess what today is!!!! Like you even need to ask.

Happy New Moon day!